DREAMS DETERMINATIONS TEARS (2)-psychological issues

Psychological Issues

Uncle vs. Granddad
I remember when I was around 7 years old, when I used to watch my uncle get beat by my grandad. This is the story. My uncle, Junior (we called him Boony) used to hop into his dad's car and take off without getting permission first, and anyway, he would not have gotten it because he was too young to drive at the time. I guess you could say he stole it - sort of. When uncle Junior later arrived with the car, it was smashed and all torn up from an accident. Grandad got a whip, took uncle Junior in the bathroom so that he couldn't escape (and the bathroom was small anyway), and beat the living crap out of him. It was sad, but I caught a glimpse of it. And I'm afraid to say that this wasn't the first time he had done it. ¤shame I still have childhood fears that haven't left me to this day. I am afraid to vomit. I still remember when I barfed all over grandma's kitchen floor. Some people deal with it a lot better, especially if they drink all the time, they don't have a choice unless they quit. I am not a drinker, and I am still afraid to throw up. Yes, everybody gets sick sooner or later, but I hated it when I got sick. Maybe this was a lesson for me, and that is, whatever you put into your system, your body and feelings will react accordingly. That lesson can also be applied when seeking knowledge and learning to make good decisions. Learn the right stuff and do the right things in life, and things won't turn back on you, or you will do what i did, lean over and throw up. Besides sickness, the other problems I had to deal with as a child was getting in trouble at school and getting messed with by bullies. I was a wuss, because I resorted to crying and tears as a strategy for avoiding fights. I thought that if I cried, that they wouldn't bother me any more. Believe it or not, one of those bullies turned out to be my best friend, and if anybody else tried to stack some hay with me, Brandon would kick their butt. On the subject of bullies, I didn't have much of a problem with them when my uncle Junior got involved, including my dad. Do you remember when I told you that I started experimenting at a young age, well it just so happened that I had a bad experience with one of the neighborhood girls, an altercation with a girl named Danielle who thought she was "sassy ass." She was with her friends walking one day. She came up to me talking trash for no good reason, maybe because she had brothers older than me. She ended up slapping me for no apparent reason, and I of course slapped her back. She went and told her brother. He walked up to me, grabbed me by my shirt, and dragged me to his house where his little sister was.

Uncle Intervenes
Luckily, my uncle saw her brother twisting my shirt really tight, and then my uncle walked up to where we were and said to Danielle's brother with anger (and a mean facial expression), "take your hands off him!" And "Don't you ever touch him again!" Her brother was afraid of my uncle, so he turned me loose. After my uncle Boony put him in check he pleaded, "but your nephew slapped my little sister." My uncle's response was, "that's why he has a mother and a grandmother, tell either of them the next time, or just simply come and tell me, but don't ever touch my nephew again!" I never had any problems with the sassy ass little girl, nor any of her foolish brothers. Those were the good days. My uncle also started toughening me up by punching me until I started crying so that I would become a tough kid, but I could only be so tough compared to certain people. There were some kids I wouldn't stand up to.

Quarter For The Arcade
A quarter to me was like jewelry of a great price back in the day. If I found a quarter, I was on my way to the corner Arcade. Ms. Pac Man was my favorite. I loved the arcade so much that I started asking people for a quarter. One young lady expressed to me, "I am not a bank." That was a good one reply, and when somebody else asked me for a quarter, I also replied, "I am not a bank." You can ask a lot of people for a quarter, but some people will test you. I remember asking a man for a quarter so that I could go to the arcade and play Ms. Pac Man, but he responded, "I don't have money to waste on games, but if you're hungry I will buy you something to eat." I didn't want anything to eat, I wanted to play Ms. Pac Man. I learned not to beg after one stranger almost handed my butt to me. I was standing outside in front of the arcade, looking for somebody to walk by so that I could beg for a quarter. Then, I saw a man waiting for the bus to arrive at the bus stop. I walked up to him and asked him for a quarter. He knew that I just wanted one so that I could play a video game. He put me to the test. He raised his voice at me and asked, "for what!" I then answered, "I don't have a quarter to ride the bus." Unfortunately, that's when the bus was pulling up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter and said, "here, now jump your ass on that bus!" I hopped on the bus and got off a couple of blocks down the street while he stood there and watched, but didn't get on.

Markham, Illinois
One day, mom sent me off to stay with my uncle William who lived in Markham, and his kids (my cousins through marriage). Growing up wasn't easy. The family was very religious. We washed before breakfast, asked blessings before every meal, went to bed at a certain time, and went to Sunday school and church every Sunday. We could not use any foul language whatsoever. I was chastised by my uncle and aunt Patsy both, and hers was worse than his. She made the belt sting, he just made it hurt. My cousins and I used to walk to school together everyday. I remember one incident that happened to me while I was playing outside of school during recess. While playing with the other kids, I accidentally bumped into a white lady, and she then turned at me and yelled so loud that I felt the anger in her voice. It was not a normal scream. I felt the hatred in her voice, like someone who was prejudice. I am still convinced to this day that she was racially prejudice. The situation with me was, I loved white women, because their eyes were so beautiful when they smiled. Their dimples showed too, and that is why I was so hurt by this lady that I cried. I continued going to church on Sundays though. That was the time when people were still buying Michael Jackson's albums. I loved living in Markham, Illinois, the oxygen was a lot cleaner there, and I could breathe better. The mornings were prettier in the suburbs than in the city. I didn't get to stay in Markham too long.

Between Dreams

 Austin, Texas
After my mom and I moved to Austin, Texas, where the people supposedly were friendly, I became more involved in church activities. I went from junior high school to college also. I was a music performance major at Huston-Tillotson College. I learned how to read and write music. That is where I began pursuing my songwriting dream. Getting a songwriting contract was my ultimate goal, and music was not just something I did, but it was something I was. Often times, inside of the student lounge of the college dorm, I would entertain people by playing popular melodies on my piano keyboard. It took me a while to develop my own style of songwriting. The challenge came when I wanted to break into the music business. I met a young lady, and I can't remember her name, who was a genuine R&B singer. We got together to work on some songs that I kept in my repertoire. Unfortunately, I ended up moving to Chicago after a short period of time, and I never got to see her again. Something told me that I should have stayed. However, I did continue to pursue my songwriting dream in Chicago, Illinois. I had better contacts there as a matter of fact, and one day, I met a guy named Melvin who was a screenwriter, and he had his own independent film company. We made a handshake deal instead of signing a written contract. I got composed songs for the films the company were promoting while they helped me get some exposure for my songs. It was fun going with them on one of their film-shoot projects.  I got to meet one of the sexiest black female models in history. Long black wavy hair, silky skin, black boots, white shorts and a tank top. She had big legs too, but they were just the right size. Big luscious lips padded with dark pinkish lipstick, and glazing eyes. Oh, did I mention her nice round seat? She had melons for breasts. If you put all of that together you get a healthy-looking young lady.After awhile, I left the company. I was talking to music producers and meeting music group leaders.

Continue to the 3rd episode, click here.

MY FAITH: BETWEEN DREAMS, DETERMINATIONS, TEARS ... STORY OF MY LIFE (1)

Story of My Life

This is the story of my life. I have written this story in 5 parts, and they are..

1. My Faith: Being one with Christ (not according to Christian theology today )
2. Between Dreams: The dreams I had (from my childhood to adulthood )
3. Determinations: The steps of faith I took (to Christian growth )
4. Tears: Hard Times
5. Story of My Life: Summing it all up

Date written: July 9, 2010
I am 39 years old today, and will turn 40 on July 27, 2010 if the Lord allows. I am thankful. Amen. This is the story of my life, and I will tell the truth, nothing but the truth, so help me father God. I won't reveal everything about myself here, some things are better left untold. Amen. The Lord will work for me in this matter. ¤Glory

Learning

The more I search deep within my soul, examine my thoughts, and groan within my spirit, it seems that my focus relies heavily on the teachings from my youth. I remember the thoughts I had as a child, thoughts about God, thoughts about my life and what I enjoyed, and thoughts about words my mother had spoken to me which helped me to discern right from wrong. In spite of the chastisement I got from my elders and my mother, growing up was not easy. When I look back to my experiences as a child, I wish that my learning was more geared towards intensive training rather than punishment. I was not taught the value of a dollar, except to save and put money in a piggy bank. I was not taught skillfully how to apply biblical scripture, but I was forced to go to church. I was taught arithmetic and spelling, but I was not taught how to apply them fluently. I was allowed to feed the family pet bird, but I was not taught how to provide proper care and treatment for pets. I told my teacher that I wanted to be a doctor when I got old enough to learn how to become one, but my teacher didn't give me any illustrations of what a doctor does. I was told to respect my elders, but nobody ever told me that I could learn a lot from them. I was allowed to join the church choir, but mom never explained to me what praise was all about.

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Experimenting

Growing up wasn't easy. I had a strange desire for older women from a very young age. I remember when I could have been no more than 3 years old, maybe 2, but I can't remember, I was sitting on the sofa in grandma's house while she was gone away somewhere, perhaps to the store. My mother was probably at work. However, my aunt and a couple of her sisters were in the house babysitting me. While they were in the kitchen, I pulled my pants down and sat idly on the sofa. when they came in and had seen what I had done, they told me to pull my pants up, and I did. After my 5th birthday, I had started fantasizing about older women. The fantasies were so strong that I could actually feel lust inside of me. I got erections at the age of 5, and perhaps, when I was even 4 years old. When I turned 6, I began to experiment with neighborhood girls, and female classmates at my school, which was around the same time I had already begun taking piano lessons.

Maturity
But as I got older, I became more interested in church and reading the bible. I got hooked. I asked the neighbor next door, Mr. Brown, if I could go to church with him, and he invited me to go with him to church. I remember one of my grade school teachers giving me a reading test one day when school was out, and there were no scheduled classes. She told my mother that I had a reading level that was above average. I could look at a t.v. screen during a commercial and pronounce every word correctly. Sometimes, when mom took me to piano class, another student would be in the room at the last minute or so of his lesson, and I would listen to the piano solo he was playing until his time was up. As soon as the other student got up from the piano bench, I sat right down before he left, and played his melody by ear while he listened, and it sounded very close to what he had played before. I was actually playing by ear, only until mom explained to my instructor that she wanted me to learn how to read music and not play by ear, but shortly after that, I had stopped learning to play music by ear ever since. Now, even up unto this day, I still cannot play by ear. I believe that if a child has a gift, then nourish that gift, or he/she will lose it, and someone else will get it. This is the end of the first episode. Be sure to click here to see  "MY FAITH: BETWEEN DREAMS, DETERMINATIONS, TEARS ... STORY OF MY LIFE," part 2 'psychological issues.'

What Makes A Great Dad?

ME AND DAD

Children Watch What Adults Do

Teach By Example, Not Words.

"Do as I say, and not as I do." Have your parents ever told you this when you were a kid? That is how many fathers teach their children, without considering the fact that children are influenced by what they see. They are not supposed to be treated like slaves, although they are chastised when needed, which is right, but the point is that kids are just as much emotional, intellectual, and spiritual as they are physical beings. It takes more than just addressing their behavioral problems through chastening, but it also takes spiritual nourishment. If you want your child to be kind, show kindness, if love, show love, if compassion, then show compassion. How can you expect your child to say no to drugs and alcohol if you drink, or do drugs? The saying stands, "practice what you preach." A child won't understand everything that you teach them, but that's fine as long as you have the understanding and knowledge about how the spirit works, if you're a saved believer. The idea is to be a good role-model by spending quality time with your kids, entertaining them, and by making them feel comfortable when they have questions about things they are curious about. Let them know that they are special to you, and that you care about them so much that you want them to feel comfortable when they have questions about anything. That is how a father and a mother nourishes them with principles based on honesty, love, trust and responsibility. A father who does this for his children is the best dad in the world.

Growing Up

You don't want to spare the rod and spoil the child. God chastises whom he receives as sons (children). Chastisement teaches them responsibility and awareness. I'm going to tell you about the biggest victory I had in my life when I was a very young kid. My grandmother would babysit me whenever my mom had to go to work. Grandma stayed in the house all the time, and would seldom go out and sit on the front porch. I was used to waking up early in the morning while my aunt and cousinswere asleep in bed. Well, I had a friend named Brandon, who would often stop by my grandma's house to see if I'd would go out and play, or just hang out with him, or even visit other friends. Keep in mind that I was brought up in the church, and grandma was a Christian. I was taught to fear God. Anyway, grandma gave me a rule to follow whenever I decide to mingle with friends, which was to not go anywhere near a certain neighborhood, too far away from the house. One day, Brandon asked me if I wanted to go down in the Wentworth area, a neighborhood street in Chicago, which was too far away from the house. I told him about my grandmother's rule that she game me. Although I knew she was sleep in the house, and having no idea of my whereabouts, I kept that rule. He the tried to persuade me to go by telling me that she won't know and she can't see me. I believed him, but there was a surprise I was about to give him that he was totally unexpected. I responded to him with all sincerity of heart that God knows, and that He is watching me. Brandon made the big mistake of telling me that God wasn't going to do anything to me. That only made my belief stronger. I was even more consistent with my refusal to go, despite grandma's rule.

Our First House
My mother and I were delighted to be moving into our first house. I can't forget, it was on a cold day, and my uncles helped us move into our house. We had to keep the stove burners lit so that we could stay warm. it made me happy to see Mom happy. Within a few short months my godmother moved in with us as a caregiver whenever mom went to work. Talk about chastisement, hers did hurt, and I can still remember it to this day. I was a child of a single parent, my dad did not stay with us. After a few years went by, we moved into our 2nd home, which was an apartment building. That's when mom married Virgil, Senior (R.I.P), my younger brother's biological dad, and his name is also Virgil (Junior). My mom wasn't a saint, but she believed in Jesus, and I wasn't one either. Our dad Virgil was nowhere close to the saved lifestyle, in fact, he was an alcoholic. That marriage didn't last long. It wasn't too long before we moved to Austin, Texas. During this time my brother was between 3 and 4 years old. After going through some hard times, it took me a while for me to make my mind up about whether or not I wanted to start attending church again. By this time I was old enough to go on my own, without an adult. I had a thirst for God and the bible. Mom was not a regular church-goer. My faith in God was stronger than hers-I believe.

My Last Name

I was 2 years into high school before mother remarried. His name was Larry Miller (R.I.P.). He was the only man who stayed with mom and took good care of us before he left this world. They've had their verbal fights, but managed to work things out over time, in view of the fact that he was an alcoholic. I never did get used to calling him my dad, but I would always identify myself with my real biological dad. I grew up wishing that my real dad had stayed with my mom, and that I was a kid who was fortunate enough to have both my primary parents in the home raising me. However, I was not one of those fortunate kids, and neither was my little brother. I remember mom telling me that my last name was the same as that of Howard's (R.I.P.), the very first man she met when she was going to school, whom she was going to marry after he finished his duty in the military. Unfortunately, he was murdered before he got out, by another woman who shot him. She named me after him anyway, even after she was aware that he was murdered. I now wonder how she came up with my first name.

I just knew I was gonna fly!

Like Robert Kelly used to say, "I believe I can fly." Well, that's what I believed (not literally) when I was taking piano lessons. It was my ambition to play the piano better than Ludwig van Beethoven, and Amadeus Wolfgang Mozart. It never happened. I wasn't going to enough recitals, taking enough lessons, nor was I spending enough time practicing. My level of talent was just at a level of entertainment rather than a serious virtuoso. Dad wasn’t home when I sat down at the piano to start playing some of the songs I learned from a music book. His usual time coming home from work was around 5 pm.
Never give up
Over the years Dad continued to keep himself informed of what was going on with us in school. He was one of those militant dads. He didn't go to church, except occasionally, maybe, but he made sure mom was happy, bill were paid, and we were behaving. Another good thing about him is that he did believe in God, but I'm not sure about his past experiences with church, but when he talked with me, he talked like a believer. Like I mentioned before, it took years of us all living together in one home before things ironed out smoothly, and dad became less militant and more of a family-type dad. I think he may have finally been feeling the regret of what he did to hurt mom in the previous years. They say "what goes around comes around." I must also add that he did what he could as a responsible dad, except for the alcohol problem. That was the killer.

 

Punishments

Life for us wasn't all flowers, and we had our ups and downs. I hardly got into any trouble, and if I did, it was usually the other person causing the problem. I kept to myself most of the time, and that's how I lived. I was not the party person. My main spots were the restaurant, library, church, gymnasium or weight room, and the chess club. My biggest problem growing up was knowing how to approach women - with confidence. I was easily intimidated by young women who thought the world owed them something. I did believe in marriage before sex, like the bible teaches, but I was overcome with the desire for sex. That was my main struggle. It was warfare to me. I desired to marry, but could never find a wife. I know this sounds awful coming from someone who is a believer.

 

Pride in your work

I remember one day when we were moved into a house at Younger Court, Austin, Texas. I was going to church regularly, meeting new people, going to fellowship, and working for temporary agencies to make a living for myself. Mom helped me get into college much later, and that is when I started working on my songwriting career. I had a passion for music.
By summers end I was assigned to the Huston-Tillotson College campus residency hall, on the 2nd floor, and by the passing of months I was assigned to another room in the dormitory. College was probably one of the biggest tests of faith that any Christian could have, because temptation is there, all kinds.I remember getting a job assignment to go work in an office at the University of Texas at Austin, which happened to be the same place dad worked at. To my surprise, he walked into the office where I was sitting, behind the desk, and told me how proud of me he was to see me with such a good job. It really motivates a person when their dad compliments them. That's also part of being a supportive dad.

 When you love someone, someone will love you in return.

Care for someone, care is received.
Kind to someone, it, also, is appreciated in return.
Selflessness I have chosen.

Never let them down!

A Gangster's Novel (part 2) Sir Geronimo, III

→ A Gangster's Novel ← ..
This is a story about an old time former Italian gangster who is pretty much retired and laid back. He is typically a mild-mannered man who's compassionate toward others, but lives in a social high class environment where fame and luxury are both common. In his early years, he was a rival gang member of an 'elite' mob who infiltrated rival gangs in Mexico in the 50's. His life took a turn around after he was spared by one of his combatants after being held up at gunpoint, and he was given a proposal that if he chose to surrender and work for his rivals, then his life would be spared. After doing so, he ended up making huge amounts of capital, trade and mercantile. The only way out of the gang was to give up half of his assets as a requirement for one who wanted to resign their duty and become non-affiliated with a gang. He now lives in a 7-bedroom cottage mansion located in Beverly Hills, California he bought for $38.4M. The landscape was made and formed to more of a mini-apartment duplex style with sunbathe roofs that have pink and white ceiling light fans hanging down from the inside of the mansion's walls. His name is Leonardo V. Geronimo, ÍÍÍ. He is the epitome of glamour and luxury. He owns 4 cars for 4 different occasions. The first car he owns is a Ferrari Enzo, having a value of $1,000,000, but he bought it for $670,000. He only uses it to enter into car shows and contests. Geronimo also owns 2 Cayenne Porsche's he only drives when he is going to the Pub Bars in San Diego to socialize and gamble with close companions. The bar waitresses love his appearance, because they know that he spends a lot, and his tips alone are usually $60.00 a piece. That's if he isn't being generous, but the tips do get higher when he is having a good night. The last car he owns is a Koenigsegg CCX with the value of $545,568. This car he uses for driving to businesses he bought and owned, but some, he inherited from his father named Raffaello Nuncio, ÍÍ. He owns a manufacturing company that processes fabrics and fabric products for some of the world's top fashion designers in Puerto Rico. He also manages a modeling consultation firm in that same city, including a clothes cleaning business for clients who buy his suits.  And lastly, he is a superior agent of those who sell his franchise line of scent fragrances as a side job. His fragrances are sold under 4 different labels, contracted out to several clothing stores throughout the United States and Japan. His girlfriend who lives with him works for him also. She is half Italian and half Polish. and in her early 40's also. She manages his makeup and tanning shop in Orange County. Geronimo is one of "Bestsellers" biggest icons, and yet, he tries to keep himself distant from the public in order to avoid media interrogators.

Occasions

 

A Gangster's Novel (continued)

When Geronimo is driving his Koenigsegg CCX car to the work sites, he's checking up on his employees, clients and customers to make sure that his businesses are running smoothly. He keeps his briefcase in the trunk with business forms in case he ventures into more potential money-making opportunities. He always wears a suit to work, and among them having a choice between 4 different styles, The Italian style suit which is a double breasted suit, and it is usually a good choice for very tall men, a British style suit, such as a single-breasted suit which gives off a more regal look than its counterparts, The American style suit, or a more relaxed of the other ones, and gives off a younger image, and lastly,The Mandarin suit, the most unique of the four, as it is influenced by more traditional eastern cultures. keeping up with the cutting edge of fashion was his competitive goal, and was quite often a manifestation of his high self esteem. Geronimo's clients were mainly wealthy consumers looking for something fashionable, but yet conservative. His suits consisted of a collectible range for suit lovers, and somewhat of a wide selection of two and three piece classics. The Material is usually spun-wool with a spin of around super 100's or better. You won't find anything over the top in this collection. However, blacks, blues, grays, and tans are available on most of his models. His next brand line are more of a modern style brand, grounded in tradition, and these suits are very light on the body, but yet versatile and stylish. His other line of dressy pants were made to match well with whatever his customers were wearing. Geronimo's hired stylists do more than just build clientele, they recommend them to his own clothes cleaning business for the best care. They also recommend them to his own line of fragrances. A lot of them are referred to Geronimo's modeling consultant services. The purpose is not only to build revenue for Geronimo, but to also help Geronimo's clients leverage their career resources while pursuing a freelance fashion modeling career. Most of his clients pay for services at his own makeup and tanning shop also.

   ...                          ...              THE END

A Gangster's Novel (part 1)

A Gangster's Novel 

I want to to build me a store on Eaton's Newport Beach in California, where you will see the christy blue waters and people pacing its green meadows. Yes, my store will be very unique, and much different from the traditional clothing and jewelery stores. In fact, my store will be a clothing, jewelery, and a fashion store all in one. Not only will I sell the merchandise, but people who come to my store and shop will be styled by a hired stylist who will offer services to them and all other clients who want to get a complete makeover. For instance, if you were one of my customers, I would appoint you to one of my hired stylists to interview you first to determine the kind of image you want to have, then my stylist would show you a booklet with photos of hair dresses, the different outfits to match the hair, the kind of fragrance that is right for you, and the best jewelery to wear. My stylist would also apply the right makeup after giving you a facial. My store will also be a hybrid between a tanning salon 'slash' massage parlor. After establishing these services, I will build another department section to the back of my store which will be a cafe and coffee shop, where my clients could go to for a cup of coffee after they have gotten their makeover. There, they would sit down and mingle with other clients while they are drinking coffee with their cupcake or sandwich, and listen to the music over the radio station, and look through a few of the available fashion magazines. My store will be equivalent to a clubhouse for fashion models, and membership would only be granted through initiation. And that initiation is a small process.

1. First requirement: You must be a career-oriented model, but not necessarily an accomplished one. In other words, you will not have to be connected to a modeling agent or a designer, my stylists will possess those creative gifts.
2. Second requirement: You must be between the agent bracket of 18 to 35.
3. Third requirement: You must be a club member of Toastmasters International, an educational organization headquartered in Rancho Santa Margarita, You have to have good public speaking and leadership skills to promote yourself as a fashion model.

My clients will have to be serious about their image, confident in their creative talents, and have the desire to be fashionably competitive with a standard of not only wanting to beat the latest fashion trends, but the desire to create them. My customers will be serious shoppers who are willing to invest in glamour and allure products. My suppliers will have the best materials and interior for clothing made by "top-of-the-line" designers.
stay tuned for A Gangster's Novel (part 2).

101 Ways To Tell Your Wife, "I Love You"

 

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE...STARTING TODAY!

1. LEAVE A WRAPPED PRESENT FOR HER TO FIND And I'm not talking about a cheap one (Unless that's what she likes). Buy a pretty-costly gift. Leave it in her car inside the glove compartment.
2. TELL HER SHE'S SEXY EVEN BEFORE SHE DRESSES HERSELF TO GO OUT She wants your passion to be expressed to her in any given situation. If she has to put on lingerie and hold the pink teddy to get you in the mood, then she may think you don't appreciate her unless things are always how you want them.
3. WRITE HER A LOVE POEM BEFORE YOU GO TO WORK This is an effective way to let her know that she's always on your mind when you're away. And she's the best person to be on your mind.
4. TAKE HER BY THE HAND AND TAKE HER TO A ROMANTIC DINE I can't emphasize this important tip, how romantic it is. You didn't ask her, but you decided to surprise her. Women love wonderful surprises such as this. You take her by the hand like you're her "Prince Charming" and off to the King's restaurant you go.
5. SEND HER A FEDEX CERTIFICATION PACKAGE When she signs for it, open it up, and look inside, there will be a necklace and a love note with your signature.
6. GO TO OFFICE MAX Have the clerk print you out a professionally printed invitation you personally wrote to your wife. It will say: "To THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY QUEEN, please join me at a picnic at ............." When you 2 lovers are there, the occasion might be so special that you would have to go home to make love, because the conversation you both had turned her on sexually.
7. REVERSED ROLE PLAY You be her, and she'll be you. Do the things that she does that make you feel good, and she'll do likewise. Say the things to her that she always say to you and vise-verso. ONLY THE SWEET THINGS.
8. GO FOR A WALK TOGETHER ON THE BEACH Money isn't everything. This will show that you enjoy being with her, and that you will be by her side regardless.
9. TAKE HER TO MEET HER FAVORITE CELEBRITY This isn't promised, but it would be a good effort. How much more romantic can it get for you to go through the trouble of making contacts just so that she can meet her favorite celebrity.
10. TAKE HER TO THE MUSIC STORE You can take her to any store for that matter just to find her the style of music she likes to listen to. This little bitty thing proves that you do care about her interests and not just yours.
11. WASH HER CAR ON THE INSIDE AND OUTSIDE And after you're done, say to her "FREE OF CHARGE."
12. PLAY WITH HER FEET Women love this.
13. TAKE HER TO THE AMUSEMENT PARK The rides are congested, and it's a great way to feel adrenaline while holding your wife, especially on a roller coaster.
14. TELL HER HOW GOOD IT FEELS When she rubs you, or touches you. She wants to know that you appreciate her and enjoy being with her alone.
15. GIVE HER A PIGGY BACK RIDE This is perfect for on the beach, or in a park.
16. TAKE HER TO SIX FLAGS
17. GIVE HER A "SHOUT-OUT" ON THE RADIO This isn't just for the teenagers, this is also for couples who want to say "I love you." Jockeys do this.
18. GET HER RIMS CLEANED You're tired of seeing your wife drive a car with filthy rims. If you really care about her having nice stuff, take her car to the shop to have her rims done. This saids a whole lot about you as a caring provider. It's not that you helped her buy the car, but that you wanted her to be happy with it too.
19. PUT AN AD IN THE PAPER The ad will say, "To my wife, who is also a great mother to my children, we love you honey."
20. GROW HER SOME MUM FLOWERS Grow red ones and white ones.
21. DON'T FIGHT OVER T.V. SHOWS Watch her favorite shows with her. You'll get to watch football some other day.
22. THROW HER A PARTY Invite friends over. Have a good time, and if she asks you the occasion, just tell her you enjoy doing things with her, and that you can have a good time with her like you can with your friends. This will make her feel very special.
23. PLAY PARCHEESE Women like table games.
24. KISS HER IN THE MORNING Most couples do it at night, but it pays to do it early.
25. WATER GUN FIGHTS This is a lot of fun when a couple have water gun fights. This is good for foreplay as well. Nothing like a little "come catch me" before sex.
26. BE OPEN-MINDED The best discussions are the ones in which each person understands the other's view points and how they feel.
27. GIVE HER A SENSUAL BROTHEL MASSAGE Taken out of context, this means that you will run her very warm water, pour sweet fragrance oils in the water, and bath powders. Her skin will be so soft that you'll be able to easily massage her shoulders and neck while she's in the tub.
28. BUY HER A CALENDER Tell her you bought it so she can mark the days and times when she wants to do something special with you.
29. GO ON A BOAT RIDE TOGETHER This is valuable time spent wisely.
30. PAY TO GET HER NAILS DONE Make sure you stay with her until she's done, and pay the manicurist. Also, be sure to compliment her nails.
31. MAKE A TOAST TO MORE CHILDREN OK. Just kidding, but a toast is good occasionally. Make a toast with a glass of orange juice.
32. PLAY A GAME OF PARCHEESE This is for laughs, but it works.
33. RE-ENACT HER FANTASY Be modest here, as women tend to fantasize greatly. It doesn't hurt to fantasize every now and then. You do it all the time in your own mind.
34. LET HER TIE YOU UP This is more in the category of fetishes. If this isn't her fetish, find out what is. And I'll leave it at that.
35. TAKE HER TO A HORROR PICTURE SHOW Women like to be cuddled and close to their husband while watching a scary movie.
36. PICK A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER If you find one while you're sitting on your backyard patio with your wife, pick it up and make a wish to your successful marriage.
37. GO TO THE MUSIC STUDIO FOR A RECORDING This may seem a bit over the edge, but this shows that you are not a boring husband who isn't interested in doing anything but waiting for her to fix you dinner and do house work. Show her that you believe in her potential. Do something with her you don't normally do, like shoot hoops (basketball).
38. DANCE FOR HER This is also very good to spark things up. Move your hips around, and she might join you. Play the stripper. This might actually make her laugh too.
39. BRUSH YOUR TEETH One of the worst things a husband can do is to kiss his wife with stinky breath. Listerine helps.
40. OFFER TO GO SHOPPING WITH HER Women love this.
41. MENTION HER GOOD HABITS I'm sure you married her for something other than what you wanted. Compliment her for being a great mother to your kids. Compliment her for being so neat that you come home only to see that she is also a great housekeeper. If she has a talent, compliment it.
42. BE GRACIOUS TOWARDS HER What I mean is this, couples tend to always discuss each other's faults and what have you, but make an effort to discuss your faults first, and the time will come when faults from both parties will be discussed. But this time, you want to show that you are just as forgiving and loving as you are critical.
43. TAKE A SELF DEFENSE CLASS WITH HER This may sound odd, but the moral of the story is that being involved in a curriculum activity with your wife in a learning environment creates a stronger bond.
44. PLAY TRUTH OR DARE Ask her only the sweet questions like: "Truth or dare, I truly want to be with you for the rest of my life." And she will say, "truth." And when you dare her, say something like, "I dare you to join me for a romantic candle light dinner." She will happily accept that challenge.
45. MAKE A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION When the new year comes around, make it your resolution to be the best father and husband you can be. It's good that you're already doing it, but sometimes people need to hear it from your mouth.
46. PLAY AN ADULT GAME This you can do when the kids are away. There's nothing wrong with a married couple playing hide-go-seek. When you find her, embrace her with passion and love.
47. GIVE HER A HICKEY She might not mind this if it's not on her neck.
48. SACRIFICE YOUR FREE TIME I know men have to get out of the house, but set aside some of the time you spend with buddies to be with your wife.
49. REENACT AN EXCERT FROM A LOVE MOVIE You can do this before going to bed.
50. TELL HER HOW MUCH SHE MEANS TO YOU Every woman needs this.
51. GIVE HER FRIENDLY TEASES Notice that I said "FRIENDLY!" This shouldn't be too hard for you since you were such a smooth talker that you got her to go out on a date with you before you 2 were together. Show your wife that you haven't lost touch, and that you can still be a smooth talker today. Tell her how nice her legs are when they're across your lap. Tell her that she must have been an athlete because of her nicely shaped breasts. Be a pimp.
52. TELL HER WHAT A NICE DAY YOU HAD AT WORK
53. CALL HER WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK As her how things are going. Ask her if there is anything she got planned for the evening, and if not, surprise her with a special plan when you get home.
54. DON'T SAY ANTHING Sometimes silence is the best answer. When she's expressing her feelings about something, often times, this is a sign that she wants to be heard and not corrected. Just listen to what she has to say.
55. RE-ENACT A NON-TRADITIONAL WEDDING Have a second wedding, but only this time, you will stage a medieval wedding, and you will wear a knight's armour. Your wife will be the princess. Put up decorations of horses and water fountains. Be creative.
56. PLAY PARCHEESE
57. FIX YOUR TIE This is a small thing, but when you are going to special occasional events, how you look makes a difference in whether or not you'll embarrass her.
58. GET A TATOO One with her name won't hurt.
59. FIND AN ARTIST Have the artist draw a picture of your wife on the canvas. When he's done, take it to get it framed.
60. FIND OUT WHAT HER AMBITIONS ARE Make an effort to fulfill at least one of them.
61. COMPLIMENT HER HAIR After she returns home from the salon, compliment her hair.
62. CHALLENGE HER TO A RACE This is a lot of fun, and it will make the bond in your relationship stronger. Wives love it when their husband challenge them to something.
63. FLY OVER NIAGARA FALLS Take her on a plane ride, and fly over Niagara Falls.
64. TELL HER SOME JOKES Women love to laugh.
65. ADD HER AS A FRIEND ON MYSPACE Your wife is also your best friend, and if she is, add her on myspace, facebook, and soundclick.
66. GIVE HER YOUR SWEATER Dedicate your new sweater to her when it gets cold, it will have your initials on it.
67. WEAR THE SAME COLORS I've seen couples wearing the same colors out in public. This is a way to compliment your relationship with your wife.
68. CARESS HER FOR NO REASON Gently ease your arms around her just for the heck of it.
69. DO FAMILY PLANNING Women love it when a man shows that he is responsible.
70. TAKE A BATH WITH HER No sex, please, just caressing.
71. LOOK FOR WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE I recommend the book, 'Kama Sutra." It can be very helpful with technique.
72. SEND HER A VOICE MAIL This is only for husbands who are computer savvy.
73. DON'T BOTHER HER WHILE SHE'S IN THE RESTROOM
74. ACCEPT HER MISTAKES WITH A WARM HEART Treat her how you want her to treat you. Put yourself in her shoes. That is called empathy.
75. SAY THANK YOU
76. KEEP 2 CELLPHONES This is good if you're an outgoing person.
77. BE CONFIDENT The man is the head of the house. Somebody has to stay strong, and the wife can't do it all by herself. Be her help meet and not a burden.
78. ADMIT WHEN YOU'RE WRONG You're not always right. Admit to your wife when you're wrong. And get your act together.
79. DON'T LISTEN TO FRIENDS They don't know your wife like you do. Don't take for granted that the advice you get is pretty accurate. This can jeopardize a marriage.
80. NO MORE THAN 4 DRINKS If your wife drinks, don't allow more than 4 drinks. Alcohol can become a problem in a family relationship.
81. NO MORE THAN 4 DRINKS If you are a drinker, don't have more than 4 drinks. Your drinking can become a problem also.
82. COMPLIMENT HER COOKING
83. PLAY PARCHEESE .
84. TICKLE HER TOES Wives love that.
85. LAUGH WITH THE FAMILY Unless you're one of those grumpy husbands, a little laughter is good for the family.
86. KILL THE SPIDER You know how women are when it comes to spiders. If you see one kill it. Don't tell her to do it. Be brave, unless it's a brown recluse spider. Then both of you better run.
87. WRITE A BOOK Write a book and have it published. Then, dedicate the book to her.
88. PLAY PARCHEESE This is good for entire family.
89. TAKE OUT THE TRASH It's a good idea to take some of the load off the kids every now and then. You're not taking away their responsibilities, you're just being a loving dad. Wives like to see their husbands improving their relationship with the kids.
90. MOTIVATE HER When she is at work she does a great job, and you need to encourage her to keep up the good work.
91. PAINT A PICTURE This is something you and your wife can do together.
92. TAKE HER ON A VACATION Don't be calling the kids every 5 minutes to check up on them. This is private time with your wife.
93. GO DANCING
94. BE HER NURSE WHEN SHE IS SICK You were next to her when she was about to have your baby. It won't hurt to be her nurse when she needs some compassion.
95. DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE The tile floor is coming loose and your wife has been complaining about it. Fix it.
96. WRITE HER A STORY Make it sweet. She'll cherish it.
97. SHOW HER NEW HOBBIES Most women don't know how to play chess. This would be a great game for you to teach her.
98. OPEN A JOINT ACCOUNT
99. OPEN AN ACCOUNT FOR HER SPENDING Women like to spend money. Open her up an account just for that cause.
100. PLAY PARCHEESE
101. STAY COMMITTED

Holding On To My Ex - "is it time to let go?"

Fell To Pieces

A Heart is too precious

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Funny Love Article - Before and After

How shall I describe the past relationship between my wife and I prior to our divorce? I will tell you what it was like. It was like a prize fight. We both wanted things to go our own way, but disagreements would always get in the way. We both were too overconfident to compromise with each other, we believed that what we have been taught by mom and dad was wiser than mere communication and understanding. We struggled with each other's habitual biases, she spent an hour on the phone talking long distance while I was in the mood for sex and lovemaking, and I would get the feeling of neglect when she in fact, wasn't neglecting me at all.  It was just something she always did before we got married, but when she did it after we were married, it was during the time when I needed her undivided attention. I gave her soapy oil massages while she was bathing at night, and after our baby boy was asleep and cuddled away, tucked under his warm blankets. We shared pizza pockets and chocolates for dessert. We drank wine after my insistence of a toast to the success of our "could-have-been" marriage. When I held her close to myself in bed, whispered in her ear, and caressed her with passion, she dreamed good dreams. I did what I could to make our relationship work. However, I was not an angel either. I had habitual biases too. Whenever Summer was approaching, I made it my sole duty to look for a second job in order to take my wife out to treat her to nice and better things, and because we were doing ok financially, and when there was no need for a second job, she thought that I was trying to find away to be away from her for reasons of cheating or dishonesty, when in fact, I was not trying to cheat, but I was looking for a way to afford a better lifestyle for the both of us. To make a long story short, it wasn't what we did, but it was the timing in which we did those things - which was wrong. Perhaps, timing is everything, not everything, but close enough to it in some aspects.

Love Story

Finding The Solution Too Late

 DIVORCE IS COSTLY
Divorce is costly in a number of ways, not just in court, but in the lives of the children, or the child who has to suffer from the reality of "single parenting." Children need a mother and a father in the home. I am speaking from experience, and I was a child who was considered a "baby's momma's baby." Today, there are too many baby's mommies and baby's daddies when it doesn't have to be. It's worth the compromise, and the time spent to communicate, and the effort to make sacrifices in order to keep the relationship between couples running smoothly. It was good having parents as guides until marriage, but after that, we must understand that a man has to leave his mother and father and become one flesh with his wife. A marriage has great ramifications. Divorce is a sign of weakness and selfishness. I was selfish in my relationship, and I therefore, selfishly divorced my wife.

Be sure to read the sequel to this article, 101 Ways To Tell Your Wife, "I Love You."